Randomrants

A series of intoxication guidelines have been drawn up by the New South Wales Office of Liquor and Gaming and yet I read something very different into them…  With Word Youth Day coming up (and it is a lot longer than a single day, but then given that the bible says that the earth was created in 7 days, I am willing to give the church a bit of lee way here seeing as they obviously have no idea how long a day is)

Here is the condensed list that I feel is both appropriate to the church and to being drunk.

1. Slurring words (have you ever listened to a preacher!)
2. Rambling or unintelligible conversation(have you ever listened to a preacher!)
3. Incoherent or muddled speech(have you ever listened to a preacher!)
4. Loss of train of thought(have you ever listened to a preacher!)
5. Not understanding normal conversation ( You try explaining you are a rationalist o them)
6. Difficulty in paying attention ( You try explaining evolution to them)
7. Fumbling change (The church is great a making money not handing it out)
8. Difficulty counting money or paying (The church is great a making money not handing it out)
9. Difficulty opening doors ( Tell a preacher you are gay and ask him to open a door for you)
10. Rudeness (No more need be said on this point)
11. Aggression (No more need be said on this point)
12. Belligerent (No more need be said on this point)
13. Argumentative (No more need be said on this point)
14. Offensive (No more need be said on this point)
15. Bad tempered (No more need be said on this point)
16. Physically violent (No more need be said on this point)
17. Loud or boisterous (No more need be said on this point)
18. Confused (No more need be said on this point)
19. Disorderly (No more need be said on this point)
20. Exuberance (No more need be said on this point)
21. Using offensive language (No more need be said on this point)
22. Annoying or pestering others (No more need be said on this point)
23. Overly friendly (Think Hillsong or other such ilk and how they want you to join)
24. Inappropriate sexual advances (No more need be said on this point)

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