When I’m in charge

I was going to call this my Manifesto, but since the odd nut job had to go and do bad things leaving behind a so called “Manifesto” I shall simply refer to this as it really is.

This is the list of things that I will change when I am in charge.

I do plan on adding to this list as things come to mind.

In no particular order.

  • Buskers will NOT be allowed to use amplifiers
  • Science will get as much coverage as sport in the news
  • Intolerance will not be tolerated in any form * (unless it is me )
  • My spelling mistakes and typos will be ignored whilst others are mocked.
  • Churches lose their tax-free status
  • Work Life Balance will be redressed by 2 days work, 5 days rest… a much better balance.
  • George Lucas will be forced at gunpoint to release the original Stars Wars films on bluray..and I mean ORIGINAL.
  • Nurses, Aged Careworkers etc will be paid better than AFL/NRL stars as they do more service for the community.
  • Google will NOT be evil
  • Facebook will NOT Be.
  • People will buy my photos
  • Andrew Bolt will be unemployed and forced to live in a remote community.
  • Anyone that says that Aboriginals have nothing to complain about will join Andrew Bolt in said community.
  • To save the suffering of those in that community they will house swap with Andrew Bolt.
  • Conferences that don’t have WIFI and power points will be forced to refund the fee.
  • Public transport will work and be only $1 per day.
  • Stay at homes mothers will be given a salary that is equal to a team leader of at least 5, given their work load.
  • Teenagers will neither be seen or heard.
  • People wearing their jeans below hip line will just be executed, no point wasting money on re-education.
  • People lining up to buy a phone for more than 5 min on the day it is released will suffer the same fate.
  • Only good beer will be sold.
  • Climate change is real, intelligent design is not… education and news will reflect this.
  • Private schools that make obscene profits will hand the profit over to suffering public schools.
  • The only reason that anyone will care about anyone else’s sexuality is when they are getting more than you.
  • Church signs will fall under advertising rules… you will have to prove the “fact” before placing it on a billboard.
  • Nikon will hand me all new cameras for at least a 1 year evaluation period.
  • Tradesmen will not be allowed to make appointments for times before I wake up.
  • Twilight and other such films will have no budget.  John Birmingham’s Axis of Time and Greg Bear’s Forge of God will get massive budgets to be made.
  • If sport is to be shown on TV, women’s sport will get 52% of coverage as representative of % of population.
  • The BSG remake will finish with the final jump of the Galactica.. leaving us wondering when it arrived at Earth.
  • Same Sex Marriage will happen.
  • School will teach all children how to see bias in main stream media.
  • The far right will be ridiculed… until the give up.
  • Media will not write crap about about politics.  Politician’s won’t speak crap either.
  • NETWORKS WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED TO SAY NEW ON CHANNEL “X” when the show aired 3 years previous on another network .
  • TV networks will be taught the word you are looking for is NOT, encore, replay or timeshift, the word is REPEAT.
  • People will be taught that the NBN is infrastructure and needed, not just pie in the sky.
  • People will be taught how fast the speed of light is… and how fast even a 4g network could be.
  • Those that think that the ABC is biased will be forced to look up what the word means.
  • Chihuahua’s are NOT dogs, they are rats on drugs and will be treated accordingly ( along with owners )
  • Cafe’s that do not do an ALL DAY and I mean ALL DAY breakfast will be shut down, the owners never allowed to eat bacon again.
  • Camera addiction will be a recognised disease with cameras and lenses on the PBS
  • Business that make bad coffee will be closed immediately.
  • #manflu is a serious alignment and will be treated as such.
  • Renters will be given the option to buy the house they live in, with the value of the rent they have paid deducted from the price.

… more to come later..



2 Responses to “When I’m in charge”

  1. All sounds quite reasonable to me. Although I was a little shocked at how far I had advanced through the list before there was even a mention of cameras. #justsaying

  2. You have my tentative support, my full support would require banning in highly urbanised areas (particularly city CBDs)
    – the use of umbrellas
    – old people walking more than two abreast

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