I was going to call this my Manifesto, but since the odd nut job had to go and do bad things leaving behind a so called “Manifesto” I shall simply refer to this as it really is.
This is the list of things that I will change when I am in charge.
I do plan on adding to this list as things come to mind.
In no particular order.
- Buskers will NOT be allowed to use amplifiers
- Science will get as much coverage as sport in the news
- Intolerance will not be tolerated in any form * (unless it is me )
- My spelling mistakes and typos will be ignored whilst others are mocked.
- Churches lose their tax-free status
- Work Life Balance will be redressed by 2 days work, 5 days rest… a much better balance.
- George Lucas will be forced at gunpoint to release the original Stars Wars films on bluray..and I mean ORIGINAL.
- Nurses, Aged Careworkers etc will be paid better than AFL/NRL stars as they do more service for the community.
- Google will NOT be evil
- Facebook will NOT Be.
- People will buy my photos
- Andrew Bolt will be unemployed and forced to live in a remote community.
- Anyone that says that Aboriginals have nothing to complain about will join Andrew Bolt in said community.
- To save the suffering of those in that community they will house swap with Andrew Bolt.
- Conferences that don’t have WIFI and power points will be forced to refund the fee.
- Public transport will work and be only $1 per day.
- Stay at homes mothers will be given a salary that is equal to a team leader of at least 5, given their work load.
- Teenagers will neither be seen or heard.
- People wearing their jeans below hip line will just be executed, no point wasting money on re-education.
- People lining up to buy a phone for more than 5 min on the day it is released will suffer the same fate.
- Only good beer will be sold.
- Climate change is real, intelligent design is not… education and news will reflect this.
- Private schools that make obscene profits will hand the profit over to suffering public schools.
- The only reason that anyone will care about anyone else’s sexuality is when they are getting more than you.
- Church signs will fall under advertising rules… you will have to prove the “fact” before placing it on a billboard.
- Nikon will hand me all new cameras for at least a 1 year evaluation period.
- Tradesmen will not be allowed to make appointments for times before I wake up.
- Twilight and other such films will have no budget. John Birmingham’s Axis of Time and Greg Bear’s Forge of God will get massive budgets to be made.
- If sport is to be shown on TV, women’s sport will get 52% of coverage as representative of % of population.
- The BSG remake will finish with the final jump of the Galactica.. leaving us wondering when it arrived at Earth.
- Same Sex Marriage will happen.
- School will teach all children how to see bias in main stream media.
- The far right will be ridiculed… until the give up.
- Media will not write crap about about politics. Politician’s won’t speak crap either.
- NETWORKS WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED TO SAY NEW ON CHANNEL “X” when the show aired 3 years previous on another network .
- TV networks will be taught the word you are looking for is NOT, encore, replay or timeshift, the word is REPEAT.
- People will be taught that the NBN is infrastructure and needed, not just pie in the sky.
- People will be taught how fast the speed of light is… and how fast even a 4g network could be.
- Those that think that the ABC is biased will be forced to look up what the word means.
- Chihuahua’s are NOT dogs, they are rats on drugs and will be treated accordingly ( along with owners )
- Cafe’s that do not do an ALL DAY and I mean ALL DAY breakfast will be shut down, the owners never allowed to eat bacon again.
- Camera addiction will be a recognised disease with cameras and lenses on the PBS
- Business that make bad coffee will be closed immediately.
- #manflu is a serious alignment and will be treated as such.
- Renters will be given the option to buy the house they live in, with the value of the rent they have paid deducted from the price.
… more to come later..